Speaker 0 00:00:03 Welcome to the doctor's week show where I show you how bad States of mind, difficult life issues, aren't pathological, but rather signs of personal growth trying to happen. All right, let's get into it. Greetings. How are you today? I just spent an hour watching the clouds float by sort of an, a
Speaker 1 00:00:37 Mood me that is, I'm not sure how the clouds feel, but I'm ready to talk to you about a non mellow topic. In fact, an agitating one envy, blah, it's a crap feeling. I mean, it can be mild, but it can also ruin your whole day, especially now with the internet broadcasting, all the fakey perfect lives to make you feel as low of a failure as possible, but there's no material the master can't use for enlightenment and you're a master. So let's jump into it. In episode 22, how to transform envy interpersonal growth. I showed you how to transform the painful experience of envying, someone being jealous of their great life or whatever into an uplifting, liberating process. The method is based on the idea that we project our unrecognized unlived, inner awesomeness on to other people, and then feel bad that they possess these great qualities.
Speaker 1 00:01:47 Instead of us, it's such an unconscious process that we have no idea that what we're jealous of is actually something within ourselves. We haven't yet become conscious of. Projection is a powerful process. Today. I want to focus specifically on envy. There are lots of different ideas about envy and most of them dismiss it as a purely negative trait. They view it as a, sorry, an unfortunate complex. We get into a harmful process, something to try to eliminate from our lives. It's a similar viewpoint to how we view most things that cause us pain, which is that we should get rid of it because it serves no purpose other than to make us miserable. For example, if a friend tells you she's jealous that another woman has such and such kind of body or that she's so smart, your response might be to reassure her that she's beautiful and smart too.
Speaker 1 00:02:52 You don't want her to feel bad about herself. So you try to make her envy go away, make sense. I'd offer the same kind of support, but there's more going on here. Your friend is actually talking about herself, her relationship to her own body and her own intelligence. You can't envy someone. If there's no hook for it in your own process, there has to be some feeling of lack a critic, or just unawareness of something in yourself that this other person is symbolically alerting you to. In other words, it's information for your process and extremely valuable information at that. If you just try to quash it without exploring it, you throw away a valuable piece of your potential growth. The only way you know, what's going on in your process is through the information you receive. The more info, the better when a client complains that he's got 101 problems, I say, great, we've got lots of signs, directions, data, and guidance to use to transform your life.
Speaker 1 00:04:11 It's all meaningful, purposeful directive information. Getting rid of it right away is like tossing out a box of gold. You haven't opened up yet. So in my example, your friend's envy of another woman's body or intelligence can direct her in exploring what she needs to connect with concerning her own body and intelligence. The envy is painful, but it's also a guide showing the way it's a map telling her to simply not feel envy. It's throwing away the map processing your experiences is all about discovering your ever-changing inner map, lighting the way across the landscape of your life. Get rid of the map and you're flying blind. Ironically, the place I see this map, trashing problem, the most is in spiritual traditions, whether it's a Western or Eastern tradition, things like envy, jealousy, negative emotions, and in some circles, all animalistic drives like lust are frowned upon.
Speaker 1 00:05:28 They're seen as expressions of the lower self caught in unenlightened human dramas, practice and worship aim to lift one up out of such unspiritual ways and connect one with a higher plane of existence. Just one problem. You cannot get rid of these feelings. You can suppress them and focus on a higher power. You can judge them and ban them from your consciousness. You can give them negative labels and steer clear of them, but all you're doing is transferring them to your subconscious. Then they stew and figure out how to give you other problems to compensate for being suppressed. You cannot beat your process. In the end, the process always wins. Some folks see envy as an indication of what you should strive to be like. So if you're jealous that someone is wealthy, then you should strive to be wealthy. It's a viewpoint that sees meaning and purpose in the projection, but it literalized does it.
Speaker 1 00:06:41 Instead of realizing that projections are symbolic, not literal. Sometimes there are some literal elements to integrate, but for the most part, what you project is an unconscious mind frame. You need to integrate into your consciousness. For example, how do you imagine this wealthy person feels inside? What stops you from being this way and feeling this way? And the purpose of these questions is to access a way of being not to get rich. If you think it's money, you've missed the point. Yes, money, the desired body, success, popularity and other things we think are great. Do come with practical perks, but you can still be a miserable person and you can be an incredibly happy camper without any of these things. The outer trappings of people's lives are there purely to trap you into a projection so you can grow. If you feel you want to strive to be wealthy, work on your body, get more successful or popular.
Speaker 1 00:07:56 That's awesome. Go for it, but only do it. If it inspires you and you know, it's the right direction for you. As I said in the episode with the exercise, these literal outer attributes of someone, aren't what drives your envy. Your psyche wants you to wake up to a new attitude, mindset way of feeling and being, and relating to people. A way of relating to yourself. Connecting with this experience, doesn't require you have a million dollars, a skinny body or the perfect relationship. It only requires you to have some love and curiosity for growing into your true self. The trap of literalized thing, your envy projection onto people is dangerous because it makes you follow a path of potential lies. It tricks you by making you believe that the way someone's life appears on the outside is actually the way it is on the inside. I've worked with a ton of super successful people who suffer from the exact same problems. Everyone does hurt anger, frustration, wounding, inferiority, and everything else. You can imagine money can help you in practical ways, but it can't make you happy. So make as much as you want, but don't be fooled by the dream. You are miserable. Self will follow you through the front doors of your mansion.
Speaker 1 00:09:37 Now we all know how social media amplifies this whole envy problem. Everyone's a star. Everyone shows you their dream life, dream, body, dream partner, dream success dreams what's really going on is that people are acting out their own projections of envy. The internet has made it possible to go another step further into the delusion that befalls us. If we don't work on our projections, instead of suffering jealousy of those lucky people with perfect lives, we can pretend we are those people, the right angle shot a bit of Photoshop and Presto. I'm living the dream. As in not the reality.
Speaker 1 00:10:32 I know I'm only talking about a specific subset of folks, but it's a symptom of a larger problem. Namely, that we look outside ourselves far, too much. We look at others for how we're supposed to be. Instead of looking within our projections, hook us to the outer world and make us abandon our inner processes. The way to begin to reverse this is by taking back your projections. If you envy someone for something, use it as a catalyst to discover this quality in yourself. See your envy as a meaningful and purposeful process. Not as a pathology, relate to it as your teacher and guide, that's here to show you the way. Here's an interesting NV process. I went through back in high school when I was just starting to really get into guitar, I'd study other guitar players to get ideas. Every day I discovered something new on the fret board. I never felt jealous of the more advanced players, just grateful I could learn from them. Then one day I was at a jam session at a friend's house. And this guitars dude, I'd never met before, joined in, he closed his eyes, started playing and blew the roof off. Normally I would have been ecstatic to play with someone like that. But for some unknown reason, I got in a complex. I felt like the
Speaker 2 00:12:05 Shittiest musician lie.
Speaker 1 00:12:08 I told myself to chill. I'm just learning. I said to myself, why should I be awesome before? I'm awesome. It takes time. But my self talk didn't make me feel better. Then that night I dreamed about
Speaker 2 00:12:23 This guy, ah, you again, but it was a real,
Speaker 1 00:12:26 Really interesting dream. We were at a concert together and I was commenting on how great the guitar player was. The dude turns to me and says, it's not about the guitar. It's about me. Then in typical, weird dream fashion, he suddenly gone. And I'm him as him. All I care about is being true to myself, following my true spirit. I don't care about the high school cliques or being popular or anything else. I don't even care about the guitar. It's just something I do. That was the end of the dream. Now I hadn't studied psychology yet and didn't know how to work with dreams, but I was interested in them. And this one seemed to speak to me directly without fully understanding. I intuitively got that by jealousy of him was misplaced. And that really what I liked about him when I watched him play guitar, was how he seemed totally immersed in his own world.
Speaker 1 00:13:30 Instead of like a lot of folks who are very focused on their image, the way he closed his eyes went internal and expressed himself from such a deep place, represented this same capacity in myself. I just hadn't been aware of it or developed it yet. I realized my complex had nothing to do with his guitar playing. And after thinking about the dream, I felt better. It was a small turning point for me. At that time, I got more truthful with myself about who I liked and didn't like at school, what I was really interested in and where I wanted to go in life. I continued to study guitar, but also got into studying myself. And eventually it all came back full circle. When I realized how much studying myself had helped my guitar playing and vice versa. Okay?
Speaker 2 00:14:25 I bet a doctor's waiting history there.
Speaker 1 00:14:29 NV contains an important message for your consciousness. It's your guide, your teacher giving birth to something new in yourself can hurt. For example, if you suffer bouts of jealousy of other people, you think are doing better than you in life, but the pain contains the panacea healing and growth. The spark that can light the fire of transformation. Speaking of transformation, I wrote a song and made a video called it's all going to fall. The song addresses how faulty ideas and practices in any area of life, eventually crumble. When a deeper, more accurate truth is discovered and championed the lyrics, refer to a lot of social issues, but there's really no difference between inner and outer problems. They all follow the same pattern. There's a mainstream in society and a mainstream within you, which is your main attitude and identity. A problem is an expression of something new that's trying to come to your or your community's awareness.
Speaker 1 00:15:48 The more it gets ignored or suppressed, the worse it gets, the louder it shouts, the more destructive it becomes. You can suppress it so that it seems to be gone, but it will return in another form at some time in the future, you can suppress the manifestations of a problem, but you can't kill your process. It needs your attention, and it will find a way to express itself in your life processing. What's trying to come to your awareness is the way to begin true healing, growth and transformation tune. In on Friday, February 12th, for the release of this song, you can watch the video on my YouTube channel and you can stream the song on Spotify or wherever you listen to music. Here's a sneak preview.
Speaker 3 00:17:01 <inaudible> fallen to the ground dirty grave, and it's all going to fall. <inaudible>
Speaker 0 00:18:01 See you next time. Stay aware
Speaker 3 00:18:04 <inaudible>
Speaker 0 00:18:07 You can follow me on social media at doctors wig, and you can sign up on the mailing
[email protected], where you'll receive discounts on private coaching events and merchandise starting in 2021 weekly personal growth tips and lots
Speaker 3 00:18:23 Be well.
