Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:03 Welcome to the doctor's week show where I show you how bad states of mind, difficult life issues. Aren't pathological, but rather signs of personal growth trying to happen. All right, let's get into it. Hey people, how are you? I hope you're doing well, but if not, no worries. Got a
Speaker 1 00:00:35 Great exercise for you today. To help you get into the flow. Don't do this exercise while you're driving, operating machinery or doing anything that requires your full attention. Now, each one of you is totally unique in how you process things. So at each step of the exercise, turn the podcast on and off, however you need. All right, we all have an imagination of our ideal selves, either explicitly in your mind or implicitly in the secret recesses of your psyche. You have an image of yourself at your full potential. Deep down, you have an intuition of who you could be in your inner life, your relationships, your work, and perhaps your spirituality too. But there are inner and outer obstacles that prevent you from being this way. These obstacles are so pervasive. They can block you from even knowing your potential. This exercise shows you how to become aware of and process these obstacles to begin.
Speaker 1 00:01:56 Imagine your ideal self. Now, I don't mean your external accomplishments per se. I mean your inner self, your relationship to yourself, your connection to your highest ideals, external accomplishments may or may not be a reflection of this inner state of awareness. What would you be like? How would you be free of your current limitations, blocks and inhibitions? How would you relate to life to yourself, to people, to the world, to the universe? How would your life look and what would you be doing? Let's paint a picture of this, awesome you to do this. I want you to free up your imagination. Be unreasonable, make it wild, crazy, fun, and extreme. Don't limit yourself. And don't be practical to begin with being pragmatic should always follow, not proceed. You're dreaming. You have special things about you that only you know of. And now it's the time to acknowledge
Speaker 0 00:03:22 Who would you be if you were able to embody and express your highest ideals, begin by making a picture in your mind of what you would look like, what kind of energy would you exude? What kind of clothes would you wear? How would you move? Speak, relate, and behave. Watch an inner movie of yourself. Embodying your ideal way of being now feel into this image of your ideal self. Imagine you are him or her feel deeply into it, experience it, be it for a minute. Now, stand up and walk like your ideal self would feel the power, confidence and beauty in your strides and posture. While you do this think, and maybe even speak like your ideal self would inhabit it's attitude and total way of being own it. And don't worry. If you feel silly or awkward, acting out your ideal self, it's actually something within you and we're just amplifying and exploring it. So go ahead and turn the podcast off and turn it on again when you're ready.
Speaker 0 00:06:53 Okay. Now we're going to explore the ways in which you aren't able to fully be this way in your life. We're going to examine what blocks you from actually living this way and identifying with it. And then you're going to interact with, and process this obstacle. But before we do this, take note of the following things, it's easy to identify outer obstacles. Like I need more money. I need the right degree. I need the right partner, the right situation and so on. But these things aren't, what's going to determine whether you become your true, authentic self and reach your full potential, your attitude, and self-awareness are the keys. In other words, the real obstacle to you becoming your ideal self is your current self. Therefore, you're going to be hunting for an attitude or belief system that blocks you. This will come from either your inner critic or your belief systems.
Speaker 0 00:08:14 In addition, your relationships or community may present obstacles. But for this exercise, focus on your inner processes. Now we all know how an inner critic can block us, but how can a personal or cultural belief system do this? Well, beliefs are powerful. Why? Because we believe them. We accept them as fact and don't question their validity. They become permanent fixtures in our psyches. The problem is that they can be limiting or even downright wrong and oppressive. We just don't see it. We're married to what we believe. Sometimes your mind thinks one thing, but your deepest feelings don't agree. They know there's a truth. That's being overlooked. You may even feel and know that you're oppressed by your belief, but somehow the belief wins out. Okay, let's do this. See if you can identify an area of your life in which an inner critic or belief system blocks you from becoming your ideal self.
Speaker 0 00:10:18 Now imagine a figure who represents this way of thinking. If it's your critic, you already have a sense of this character. If it's a belief system, make a picture of a real or imaginary character who promotes and defends. These beliefs visualize a spokesperson for this way of viewing life. Get a good sense of how he or she looks their energy and personality. Watch them in an inner movie. Now feel how it would be to be this person. Imagine you have the power to block someone from being their true self, feel into this energy and personality.
Speaker 0 00:12:44 Now get up and walk around the room, moving like this character would, what kind of posture and gait do they have? What kind of gestures to they make, use your imagination and body to bring this figure to life. After you get a sense of its physicality, make your mind like this figures hack into its brain and think like he or she does. And don't only focus on their words. Also feel into the energy and personality of how they think is their mind fast or slow, heavy and plotting light and nimble or whatever. Imagine you have this character's mind and don't worry. You're just play, acting this negative character briefly to get a sense of who he or she is. And don't worry about feeling silly or awkward, pretending you're an imaginary character. These are actually parts of yourself and we're just amplifying and exploring them to become conscious of them. So go ahead and turn the podcast off and turn it on again. When you're ready.
Speaker 0 00:14:31 Now, I want you to do a role play dialogue. As the figure that blocks you tell your current self, all the reasons you shouldn't become your ideal self, then switch out of that role and reaccess and embody the power of your ideal self and this role to SKUs, to debate and argue with the part that blocks you educated, but also leave a bit of space open to learn from it. In case it has a nugget of wisdom hiding within its oppressive nature. Take the dialogue as far as you can. All right, here are some questions to help you complete the process.
Speaker 0 00:16:13 How have you related to your ideal self up to now? Has it existed only in the realm of fantasy or has it been something real you felt you can connect with and pursue in your life? Where were you able to get to in the dialogue with the critic or belief system blocking you from your ideal self? What's the process only about fighting the obstacle, educating the obstacle, arguing and debating it, or did it have a nugget of wisdom for you? How can you apply your ideal self to your problems, your relationships, your work, and your spirituality.
Speaker 1 00:18:21 Great work. You've just learned how to process obstacles. That block you from becoming your ideal self. You did this by seeing feeling moving and bodying and thinking like you imagine your ideal self would identifying what stops you from being this way, play, acting this obstacle, and then dialoguing with it. Take as much time as you'd need to absorb what you just did. If you feel like it, you can listen to some bonus material where I share some of my client's experiences doing this exercise. That's up next <inaudible>.
Speaker 1 00:19:22 Here are some of my clients' experiences doing this exercise. A 21 year old man's vision of his ideal self was a free spirit who isn't controlled and oppressed by what society tells him specifically. He didn't want his job to be his main focus in life. He wanted to focus on his inner experiences and relationships instead of creating financial stability. His obstacle was a belief that this just wasn't realistic because it's not a viable way of living. He visualized his father as someone who would hold such a viewpoint. And he dialogued with this inner figure. The father parts said he understood the son's interest in living this alternative way, but had one important nugget of wisdom to convey. He said that the harder my client works, even if he isn't interested in his job, the more financial stability he will have, which in turn will free him to pursue what he's really into the result.
Speaker 1 00:20:38 It was a pretty cool collaboration of the two viewpoints, a 33 year old vision of her ideal self was a calm self-assured person who could live her life on her own terms to her. This meant not having to have children if she didn't want to. And in fact, not even being in a relationship, if she didn't feel like it, her obstacles were the voices of her mother, grandmother, and two sisters, all of whom judged her for being single and not wanting to have a family. She dialogued with these inner figures. And after a struggle, managed to have some influence on them. She made them see that times have changed. Women are more free to follow their personal inclinations and that it'll all work out. The challenging parts. Didn't totally relent, but just doing the dialogue, gave my client a great sense of relief. It connected her to and helped her better understand her own beliefs over time.
Speaker 1 00:21:53 The more she connected with what she really thinks and feels the more these inner obstacles faded a 41 year old man's vision of his ideal self was being relaxed and chilled out in his everyday life. He spent much of his time agitated and worried about his finances, his relationships, and his future. When I asked him why he worries so much, he said, he feels, if he stops worrying, his life will fall apart. He imagined a figure that worries a sort of mythical anima figure and play acted her. Then he dialogued with her. But in the middle of the work, something strange happened. He suddenly felt dizzy and had to lay down. I encouraged him to take his time and relax. He laid down on the floor. I put a pillow under his head and within two minutes he had fallen asleep. It was pretty crazy. Me sitting in my office, listening to my clients, snore a few minutes later, he awoke and said he had had a dream in the dream. He was falling through the air. We explored the fantasy and sensation of falling, and he got in touch with a deep sense of freedom and detachment from his worries. Then I had him dialogue further with the worried part of himself, and he was able to show the worried figure, how to let go and relax into life. See you next time, stay aware.
Speaker 0 00:23:49 You can follow me on social media at doctors awake, and you can sign up on the mailing list at doctor's wake.com, where you'll receive discounts on private coaching events and merchandise starting in 2021 weekly personal growth tips and lots more be well.
