Speaker 0 00:00:03 Welcome to the doctor's week show where I show you how bad States of mind, difficult life issues, aren't pathological, but rather signs of personal growth trying to happen. All right, let's get into it. Greetings people. How are you today? I'm here in Miami
Speaker 1 00:00:33 Studio struggling to write a guitar part that my fingers are rebelling against. I'm actually not sure. Who's right. My fingers are the guitar part. It's that old dilemma of knowing who's right and wrong. And also when to keep pushing and when to use resistance as a sign to change course, I like what I hear in my head, but I don't like what I hear on the guitar. Sort of like not liking someone or you like them, but they're trouble in episode 24. How to process what you don't like about someone. We tackled this juicy topic. It's a helpful exercise for transforming that crappy feeling of disliking someone, including someone you don't even know into self discovery and growth. It shows you how to identify what you don't like about someone as a projection of something in yourself and find its positive trajectory. Whether you still dislike the person after you take back, your projection depends on the situation.
Speaker 1 00:01:41 Maybe they're so awful. You still have to diss them. Obviously the experience of liking and disliking people is ubiquitous. Now the more common something is the more fundamental it is to the human condition. This means it contains information about a core issue. Most of us share process this, and you can discover some transformative gold. So what determines whether you like someone dislike them are neutral about them or like them sometimes. And can't stand them. Other times I relationship, including with someone you don't even know personally is a dreaming process. We're all dreamers guided by unconscious patterns and stories in our psyches. Other people are like characters in our night dreams. They each play a role in our story. Our life's movie, some of them are our supporters and champions. Some are teachers, parental figures, heroes, or guides. Some are like siblings while others are your nemesis.
Speaker 1 00:02:56 Everyone in your life plays role in your story. Your story already exists as a set of internal dynamics, some of which you're conscious of and others, which hide deep in the shadows of your psyche, your process unfolds fate in a way to bring you exactly who you need in your life to reflect your story back to you. It's a powerful process of unconsciously manifesting your psyches, internal dynamics in your relationships and in the greater world. What determines your like dislike love or hate of someone is the role they play in your story, where it gets complicated is the extent to which they really are like a part of your story versus you just projecting your psychology onto them. It's always a combination of the two and making the distinction is vitally important, especially when dealing with something negative in a relationship. If you want to stay conscious and aware of what's going on, it's helpful to make a habit of trying to identify what part of you each person represents, who are they in your internal process?
Speaker 1 00:04:17 This will give you a lot of information about yourself and also about your relationships. The more you do this, the more you'll be able to differentiate between what you project and what's objectively true about the other person, as well as when both of these things happen. At the same time, the more awareness you develop around this, the more choice you'll have in your relationships and the better decisions you'll make entanglements happen when you aren't aware of which part of yourself is relating to which part of the other person, the whole thing is a crazy complex puzzle. While you're projecting onto them, they're projecting onto you. And the interactions can start to take on a very dreamlike quality where you don't know who the hell is who and what the fuck is going on. Studying yourself is the beginning of cutting through this. Of course, it's always most ideal.
Speaker 1 00:05:17 If both people are into working on themselves and processing what's going on, sometimes I wonder what's more important compatibility or the willingness to process the relationship. You can have awesome chemistry with someone until you don't. And then things can get messed up. The exercise focused on a specific aspect of disliking someone. One that usually gets overlooked. Whether what you dislike about someone is objective early, true about them is your projection or both the negative quality you see in them is the seed for a positive quality in yourself. The thing you can't stand about them is just a doorway for you to walk through into your deeper process, say you don't like someone who's loud and obnoxious. It doesn't mean you're unconsciously loud and obnoxious. I mean, I mean it could, but more often it means that there's something in that type of behavior that you need, not the negative aspects, but something positive.
Speaker 1 00:06:34 For example, I'm a fairly internal person. So I've had my share of being irritated by loud, aggressive blabber bouts in public places. People I don't even know, Oh, and folks talking on their phone, like on the treadmill beside me at the gym, don't even get me started. I always tell them to shut up because some people have zero awareness of their environments and how their behavior affects others. But these folks are actually my teachers. When I explore the supposedly awful people by play, acting them, it awakens me to my own need to follow myself in the world and not always look to other people's reactions. In other words, I need to be loud and obnoxious, figuratively speaking, but in a more conscious way, I don't want to bother people, but I do want to follow my true self in the world. Interestingly, what happens when I do this kind of inner work is that I'm no longer so bothered by these people.
Speaker 1 00:07:45 And if I am it's minor and I'm not in such a mood about it. Speaking of my internal nature, besides loving people, I also have really passionate relationships with non-people things, ideas, my body trees, clouds, butterflies, birds, wind water. And of course, music, man, do I sound airy fairy, but it's true. For example, my relationship with music is kind of intense. It brings me all the love, ecstasy pain and sorrow. You can feel in human relationships and in life, but it's with a bunch of sound ways, just hitting my ears. Me and music have a sort of love Fest, an orgasmic mystery tour into the cosmic muse. But once in a while, we have problems all want to play a certain thing. And my guitar won't play it like today before I said it was my fingers. Now I'm blaming it on the guitar. It just won't do what I want it to do.
Speaker 1 00:08:58 And I get mad. I yell at it, do what I want. Give me what I need. Sounds like a relationship. I wrote a song called everybody love. It's about embracing diversity in the world and in ourselves. And it was pitched for radio play. This was years ago, they said it was a great song, but the music needed something. And that was it. They didn't even say exactly what they wanted. I thought it probably needed to be rerecorded. So I went back and started from scratch as me and my band were doing this. I kept messing up one guitar part. I must have tried it 20 times, 30 times, but I just couldn't nail it. I was getting frustrated. And so is everyone else at one point, uh, yelled at my guitar, play the fucking part you asshole,
Speaker 0 00:09:58 But
Speaker 1 00:09:58 It just wouldn't do it. Each time I got to the riff I wanted to do the guitar would do a different riff. And I swear it wasn't me. There was some kind of spirit in the strings that wanted to play something different. Now, if you know about projection, you'd say, come on, Adam, stop projecting onto your guitar. It's you can't play this thing, but there's more to it. I finally gave up and said to my guitar, okay, I want to play this. And you keep playing that. Let's see what happens to the song. If I go with your version. So I made the whole band play the part differently. We recorded it, sent it back to radio and as they say, the rest is history, it became a top 10 hit single. And I have to admit my guitars idea. Okay. My subconscious idea was a lot better than what I had wanted.
Speaker 1 00:11:00 The mistake, the error, the problem, the frustration, the symptom, the accident, the pain, the negative shit. The totally awful relationship has an unseen purpose with a hidden meaning our negative projections onto people, whether they're objectively true about them or not contain a message for our own growth and expansion, you can either just suffer, hating the person, or you can explore them as a part of yourself, play at them, not as a vengeful imitation, but as a way to bring this part of yourself out of your subconscious, study it until you can identify something about it as you and not just the other person, give this part of you a voice and then dialogue with it. Get to know it, wrestle with it, process it and slowly work toward consciousness and transformation. Speaking of working on yourself in this way, I wrote a song and made a video called before the Dawn, which talks about the hidden intelligence in your problems, the unseen, unknown transformation and weighting, the sun that shines in the dark before the Dawn. The release date is this Friday, March 5th. You can watch the video on my YouTube page and stream the song on Spotify or wherever you listen to music. Here's a sneak preview.
Speaker 0 00:12:44 <inaudible>
Speaker 1 00:13:43 See you next time. Stay aware.
Speaker 0 00:13:49 You can follow me on social media at doctors' wig, and you can sign up on the mailing
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